


You've Got Raven

by Julieoftarth (Wherethereissmoak)



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Jaime Lannister Lives, Pining, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, letter writing, you've got mail - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-04-07 14:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19087333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wherethereissmoak/pseuds/Julieoftarth
Summary: Brienne is settled into her life as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard when she starts up a strange friendship through letters with a former soldier living in Pentos.Jaime knows he should leave her alone, that the world is better off with everyone thinking he's dead, but he cannot resist one small connection to her.In other words...the post-canon Westerosi You've Got Mail that you didn't want but I'm giving you anyway.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly wasn't planning on writing post-canon fic, but this idea came to me one day. So consider this a big THANK YOU to all you wonderful writers who have boosted my spirits with your fix-it fics and lovely AUs. You are all my heroes. 
> 
> This won't be long, just four short chapters and an epilogue. 
> 
> Many thanks to @ashwritesstuff for the beta.

Brienne woke with a start. It had been a nightmare this time rather than a pleasant dream.

She was back at Winterfell in this dream, fighting the army of the dead with Podrick and Jaime by her side. Brienne sighed as she sat up in bed. Whether the dreams were good or bad – they always featured Jaime. Even now, nearly a year after she had watched him ride away from her to his death in King’s Landing.

Brienne stretched and nibbled at the breakfast that had been left in her quarters as she brushed thoughts of Jaime Lannister aside and focused on her day. Not that it would be different than any other day.

A time of peace had thankfully settled in the kingdom, and now that life was back to somewhat normal after the wars, there was very little for Brienne to do. Not that she wanted someone to attack the king, but she thought her life as the commander of the kingsguard would require more than council meetings and paperwork.

She barely had time to spar.

Brienne wandered into her office and frowned at the stack of letters on her desk – it was raven day. While the task of reading and responding to letters from people throughout the kingdom could be tedious, the letters from the young girls who wanted to be knights just like her were a nice reminder as to why she was doing this in the first place. In fact, she had written to her father and Ser Goodwin to have them start a foster and squire program for young ladies in the kingdom who wanted to become knights.

Gilly and Podrick responded to many of her letters for her. Many of the Lord Commanders in the past hadn’t bothered to respond at all, but King Bran said that it was more important than ever for them to connect with the people. Brienne knew that Podrick selected the best letters for her to read and respond to – the ones that would put a smile on her face.

Which is why she was surprised when one of his selections this week made her weep. It was from a one-handed soldier living in Pentos. Willem Hill was his name, and he had lost his hand during a battle fighting on the Lannister’s side against Robb Stark in the War of Five Kings. His family wanted nothing to do with him after his injury, so he went to start a new life in the free cities.

Tales from the Great War and the Last War spread throughout the world, and he had heard about the fall of Jaime Lannister, and about what she had written for him in the Book of Brothers.

“There are other rumors, my good ser, about other, less pleasant things that Ser Jaime has done, but it meant a lot to me as a one-handed person that you chose to write of his good deeds. Because of our similar injuries, hearing about Jaime Lannister in the Battle of Winterfell gives me courage that maybe someday I can do things I never thought possible. Thank you for remembering him fondly, despite his other…choices.”

Brienne cried as she read the man’s letter again. She had forgiven Jaime for all of his choices in the end, and knowing that someone out there found inspiration for his honor and bravery was like a balm to her broken heart. She wished he could read this letter. Jaime had left her because he hated himself for all the things he had done for Cersei, and no amount of assurance from her that he was a good man had changed his mind.

_ See, Jaime, this man admired you. You weren’t so hateful after all. _ She stared at Widow’s Wail on her office wall as she thought it.

Brienne pulled out a piece of paper and began writing a reply to Willem, thanking him for his letter.

“Ser Jaime did many brave things while one-handed, I will tell you about one now, and if you would like to know more someday, I would be happy to write further. Probably one of the most courageous things he did, shortly after losing his sword hand, was jump into a bear pit between me and the snarling beast to save my life. Ser Jaime was many things, but craven was not one of them.”

Brienne smiled down at the letter. She liked writing about the good memories she had of Jaime.

She added to her letter, asking Willem a few things about his life in Pentos – what he did for a living now that his soldiering days were over. Brienne didn’t know why she was encouraging the man to write back. Maybe it was nice to have someone to talk to about Jaime. It seemed everyone around her liked to tiptoe around the subject. Even Tyrion, who grieved for his brother still.

And truth be told, the way Tyrion remembered his brother and the way Brienne remembered Jaime were two different things. The hand of the king knew Jaime the longest, but Brienne liked to think that she knew him the best.

Brienne signed the letter to Willem and put it in the pile of correspondence to be sent by raven later today. She wondered if the man would write her back, or if he was too busy in his life in Pentos to bother.

_ Gods, I’m lonely. Maybe I should write a letter to father and to Sansa too, just for some news. _

Podrick was like family, and she enjoyed having him around, but she missed the days when it was just the two of them on the road. Or when it was her and Jaime on the road. Or when she had her mission to care for the Stark girls.

The king was pleasant enough, but not much company, and she did not enjoy spending much time with Tyrion or Bronn.

Lord Davos was friendly enough, but they were not close. And all the young men on the kingsguard admired her, but she didn’t feel a friendship with any of them.

Yes, she would write a letter to her father. And maybe if the king was amenable to it, she could make a visit home. She missed Tarth, and longed to see its sapphire waters again.

Brienne wiped a tear from her eye and forced herself to sit up straight and continue with her correspondence. She was a knight, and the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard. She would do her duty and not complain about the life she was living. So many had died during the wars, and had lost a whole lot more.

She had lost her love, but won the position she was in. She wondered if Jaime would be proud of her. He would be, but would also probably tease her about taking the oath.

“I still miss you every day,” she said to Widow’s Wail on the wall, before leaving the room for the next council meeting.

**

A few days later, Willem Hill re-read the letter Ser Brienne of Tarth sent him. It was probably his tenth time perusing the words, and had them about memorized by now.

When he sent the letter to the first female Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, he had never expected a response. He imagined there were plenty of admirers throughout the kingdom who wanted to heap praise upon her. And members of the king’s council seldom responded to correspondence from smallfolk, at least when he was in the same position.

Jaime Lannister was dead – he died the day the rubble after his attempt to ring the bells and surrender the city was met with dragon fire. When he comforted his sister through her own death. Jaime Lannister died when he heard his brother weeping over his body, although he could not move even a muscle to acknowledge Tyrion.

Jaime Lannister died when they threw his body into a cart with other bodies and that of his sister. Jaime Lannister stayed dead when he was finally able to move and rolled himself off that neglected cart and limped away from the Dragon Queen’s army camp. Willem Hill was born that day.

He hopped on a boat and sailed to Pentos. He didn’t know why the gods had chosen to keep his heart beating, but he wasn’t going to risk the lives of his friends and family by letting them know he was alive.

“The world is a better place without Jaime Lannister,” he told himself. Still, he dreamed every night of her sapphire eyes and sweet kisses. Of her wielding Oathkeeper and saving his life many times over.

“You can’t die. You need to live so you can take revenge,” Brienne had said to him once.

But who was he to take revenge against for his poor choices? Himself? The gods demanded he live, and his penance would be that he would do it in exile. He forced himself to bury himself in work, and try not to think of Westeros and those who resided in it. To not think of Brienne.

Still, he could not control his dreams and she came to him every night in them.

And then the stories started spreading of what happened in King’s Landing after his “death.”

Jon Snow had followed in his footsteps and killed the mad queen. Bran Stark was the new king, with Tyrion Lannister serving as his hand.

“Bran the Broken,” they called the new king. Jaime snorted. Guess he was a king maker after all.

In the pubs at night, he heard tales of the first female Lord Commander of the Kingsguard. Of her bravery and honor and how all in the land respected her.

Jaime cried into his drink as a result of his pride in her, and the fact that he missed her so much. She deserved it. She deserved all the accolades. Her short relationship with Jaime Lannister was the only stain on her honor. He was never worthy of her.

And then one night, he heard about the book.

“I saw it myself. They were giving tours of the reconstructed keep and they let us see the Lord Commander’s tower. The Book of Brothers!”

Jaime’s ears perked up when he heard the words, hoping the man would mention catching a glimpse of Brienne.

“And then I read the latest entry and learned the truth about the Kingslayer.”

Jaime spat out his drink at that, but he quickly turned away when people looked curiously in his direction. After a moment, the man continued.

“He killed his king because the king was gonna kill everybody. He fought for the living at the battle of Winterfell. He tried to save the city by surrendering when the Dragon Queen came. He died protecting his queen.”

Jaime’s eyes filled with tears and he ran from the pub, unable to breathe.

She finished his pages in the book.

Brienne wrote about his good deeds, and had even painted his returning to Cersei in a positive light. He did not deserve her kind words.

He had never deserved her.

Jaime wallowed in his surprise and sorrow over everything for the next two days before deciding to write her a letter, as Willem. He may not be ever able to contact her as Jaime Lannister, but at least he could use this as a way to show his appreciation for what she had done.

He never expected her to right back.

Jaime traced her words on the letter with his finger. Brienne had touched this paper. She had thought fondly of him jumping in the bear pit and written about it to him, to Willem. He wondered if she gave that sort of half smile of hers, with her lips quirking up in the corners, as she remembered.

And to his surprise…she left an opening for him to write back.

He couldn’t dare to, could he? Could he write her, pretending to be Willem?

The part in him that thought his miserable life in Pentos was his penance told him no, that he should burn her letter and leave it at that. But the other part of him, that dreamed of her every night, told him that at least this way he could have a brief taste of contact with Brienne. A brief connection in this world.

It wasn’t much, but it would have to be enough.

He let that side of him win, and pulled out a piece of paper.

_ Dear Wench _ , he wanted to start it.

_ My love _ , his hand ached to write.

_ I miss your astonishing eyes _ , his heart screamed.

But he steadied his hand and wrote:  _ Dear Ser _ . 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne and Willem (aka Jaime) continue their correspondence relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the love on the first chapter of this! Hope you like the second. Thanks always to my Ashley for the beta read.

Brienne looked forward to raven day now. She and Willem Hill had taken to writing each other every week. And it though it seemed odd to her that she should so look forward to receiving a letter from a stranger, she didn’t care.

His first response to her had been a lovely detailed description of his life in Pentos. He served as a Master at Arms to a local house, teaching the young lads to spar, despite the fact that he only had one hand. Willem wrote that hearing tales of Ser Jaime inspired him to believe his knowledge from serving in the military could still be a useful skill.

This made Brienne smile, knowing that Jaime was still doing some good in the world, even when he was gone.

Willem did indeed request more stories about Jaime, and also for her to share some of what her life was like on the kingsguard.

“He almost beat me in a fight once, but to be fair to him his hands were bound so I had the advantage,” she wrote.

“Not to disparage the dead, but I heard you beat the Hound in combat. I’m sure you would have still defeated him, fair fight or no.”

Brienne blushed at the words, surprised that news of her fight with Sandor Clegane had made its way to Pentos.

“Ser Jaime grew very strong with his left hand. He was an excellent fighter in the war against the dead. He was always saying that he wasn’t the swordsman that he was before losing his hand, but in truth, he was magnificent. I can only imagine what he was like before. I hope you are continuing your sword training with your remaining hand. Your warrior days do not have to be over.”

Brienne wiped a tear from her eye when she thought of Jaime saving her life in the Battle of Winterfell.

Back and forth the letters went, and each time it seemed that she and Willem were becoming closer friends. He shared that he was lonely in Pentos, missing his friends and family. Brienne confessed that she had similar feelings while serving in the capital.

“You should get a pet. Perhaps a cat,” Willem wrote.  

Soon, she was telling him things in the letters that she would tell no one else, not even Pod. About her childhood, and all the mean things boys did to her as she was growing up. Things she had whispered to Jaime as they snuggled in the dark during their weeks together in Winterfell.

Brienne thought it might feel like a betrayal to tell him things that she would only tell Jaime, but the guilt never came for some reason.

Others in the capital were starting to notice her excitement for receiving letters from Willem. Podrick would grin as he presented a new letter each week. Gilly thought the entire thing was romantic, even though Brienne assured the girl that she and the one-handed man were just friends.

Tyrion and Bronn were crueler in their japes when they heard. Bronn teased and said that she must have an attraction to one-handed men.

Tyrion joked that he would talk to the king about maybe changing the law that said kingsguard could not marry. To Brienne, this was especially cruel because Tyrion knew how she felt about Jaime. She would never love again. Willem was a man she exchanged letters with, nothing more.

“Although I do enjoy hearing from you, about life in Pentos outside of the Red Keep. I do wish the king would travel more,” she told Willem in one of her missives.

“I don’t know Ser Lady, I would rather hear about you knocking all those men in the dust when you spar,” he replied in the following letter.

Sometimes, she could almost imagine the tone of his words as affectionate teasing, like Jaime used to do.

Brienne forced herself to brush that wishful thinking aside. Her new friend was his own man and didn’t need the qualities of another laid upon him, no matter how much he admired Jaime Lannister.

Willem still enjoyed hearing her thoughts about Jaime. He was the frequent topic of questions from the man. And a few questions bordered on inappropriate.

“Did you think he was handsome?”

“That is none of your business,” she replied angrily, pressing the pen deep into the paper that some ink spilled.

“I did not mean to offend. Still, I noticed you did not answer the question,” came the following response.

“Everyone thought he was handsome.”

Willem let the matter drop at that. If his fishing for compliments for the late Jaime Lannister didn’t have her suspicious, his ardent defense of her did.

One particular time she wrote a letter about how she sometimes felt unworthy to be in her post as Lord Commander, and how she didn’t know if she could ever get all the men to look at her with respect.

Willem’s response about how she was the most noble, kind and honorable knight in the entire kingdom had her blushing -and running to Tyrion to have the man once again recount how he had found his brother’s body in the rubble.

Jaime Lannister was dead, and any similarities between him and Willem were mere coincidence. Still, it was nice to have such a friend who came to her defense. She held no illusions about falling in love again, and thankfully with her oath as a kingsguard she didn’t have to think of it. But it would be nice to have a friend or companion to speak to.

One day, she got up the nerve to ask him a question.

“Do you think we should meet?”

Her hands trembled as she dropped the letter in the outgoing pile. She itched to take it back. What if he did not respond? What if he never wanted to meet? What if he did and saw the great lumbering beast that she was?

Brienne forced herself to walk away from the letters before she withdrew hers. But a week later, her fears were justified when she did not receive a raven from Willem. Or the week after.

She had scared him away. Finally, a month after her last missive, a reply came from Willem. He apologized for not writing, saying that things were busy in his area. A rich man was trying to reestablish the Golden Company after it was destroyed by dragon fire, and they wanted him to consult. He didn’t know what to do, because he did not like the idea of a sellsword army.

“Someone whose loyalty can be bought is never trustworthy. And I do not feel good about arming them with swords or the knowledge of how to use them.”

Willem gave her permission to share this information with the small council, in case they were curious about the happenings in other parts of the world.

“As to your question, Ser Lady, I don’t think it wise that we meet just yet. I’m but a poor Master at Arms and not worthy to be in your great presence. Also, I’m not the man I used to be and do not want to disappoint. Can we remain friends through letters? I understand if it is not enough for you and you wish to cease.”

Brienne read the letter through again. He did not feel worthy of meeting her? What a strange thing? For all the tales Willem must have heard about Ser Brienne, Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, he must not have heard anything of her appearance, or he would not be ashamed to be in her presence. Still, she understood not feeling comfortable enough to meet, and she did not want to lose his friendship.

Brienne started writing a missive, assuring him that they could still continue their letter-writing relationship. Before she could finish, there was a knock on the door and Pod entered, out of breath.

“Milady Ser, you are needed in the throne room immediately!”

Brienne rushed to her feet. “Is it the King? Is he in danger?”

Podrick shook his head. “No, but we have an important visitor.”

**

When Jaime first received Brienne’s letter asking to meet Willem, he was filled with panic. He had done too good of a job becoming her friend, and of course she wanted to meet. There was only one way to put a stop to this – by not writing her anymore at all.

But the thought of never hearing from Brienne, of continuing his lonely existence without a lifeline connecting him, it was too much to bear.

He racked his brain trying to come up with excuses as to why they shouldn’t meet.

Another surprising emotion filled him – jealousy. Did Brienne want to meet Willem because she was starting to have feelings for him? He had selfishly never entertained the notion that she would remarry because of her kingsguard vows, but now he could not stop thinking about the possibility.

_ You’re jealous of yourself. _

Willem was Jaime, so he could never meet Brienne. No one could know he was alive. But he ached to write to Brienne. He yearned to tell her the truth.

Every day, he wrote another letter in his head.

_ Dearest wench, the people in Pentos can’t fight worth a damn. I miss you knocking me on my ass. _

_ My Love, funny story – I am alive. This Willem guy you’ve been writing to is me. Forgive me? Want to meet somewhere? Tarth? _

_ Brienne, I love you. My heart? It’s yours. It will always be yours. _

But he couldn’t send any of those letters. And now he had to break her heart as Willem, too, because he had to reject her invitation. Jaime knew it took a lot of courage for her to open herself up to him in such a way, and now he was going to trample that bravery into the ground.

It was best that he did not write to her for a while. But with no hope of a letter from Brienne anymore, Jaime fell into despair. He got up each morning, did his work, ate, slept, repeat.

He lasted four weeks before writing her again.

Thankfully, he was given an excuse for his absence from letter-writing when a local businessman approached him about reforming the Golden Company.

How ludicrous. The last thing the world needed were more mercenaries ready to fight. It was a time of peace, and it needed to stay that way. When he finally got the chance to write to Brienne, he made sure to include the information so she could tell the king.

He let her down as gently as possible about why he could not meet her. And it wasn’t exactly a lie. He was unworthy to be in her presence – as both Jaime and Willem.

The following week, when her raven was due to arrive, Jaime was pacing. He hoped he hadn’t waited too long to write her back. Had she forgotten him? Would she still write?

He heaved a sigh of relief when the maester handed him a scroll.

But the words he read sent him into a panic.

“Willem, it is good to hear from you again. I have news. Future letters should be sent to me on Tarth. I have resigned from the kingsguard at my father’s behest. It is time for me to do the right thing as the heir to my house. I must marry and find a husband.”

_ No, no, no, no! This would not do, _ Jaime thought.  _ This would not do at all. _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh snap - what's he gonna do?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne compromises with her father, and Jaime tries to figure out what to do about this whole marriage situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my word, sorry for the delay on this chapter. We went camping and then my kids were out of control hooligans for a week. ;) 
> 
> You may have noticed I added another chapter to the total count, because in this one I got away from myself with the feels. I had this all outlined out, but sometimes the characters take over. I may end up adding another, depending on how the next chapter goes. LOL, I hope you enjoy!

Brienne could not have been happier when her father arrived in King’s Landing and requested an audience with His Grace. She had not seen him in so long, and being pulled into his arms for an embrace felt like heaven.

She assumed he had come to pledge his fealty to the new monarch, but Brienne gasped out loud when the Evenstar made a request of the king.

“I understand that it will be her decision, Your Grace, but I’m asking that if my daughter agrees to it, that she be released from her vows as Lady Commander of the Kingsguard and allowed to return home to be my heir.”

Bran gave her father is distant half-smile, and declared that those serving in the Kingsguard were no longer required to do so for life.

“The decision is entirely up to Ser Brienne. She has served well and built up a strong Kingsguard. I would happily release her from service if that is her will.”

Everyone in the throne room turned and looked at Brienne expectantly, and she turned a shade of red from the attention. She declared that she would consider the matter and let the king know within the next few days.

This seemed to placate everyone, even her father. “I’m not going to pressure you, sweetling. I know this is a high honor for you. I’m just asking that you also consider the honor of leading our people as well.”

But then there was that entire other matter that would need to be seen to if she became the Evenstar – marriage. Her father’s first attempts had not worked out well, and now that she had found love and lost it, she was not sure she was amenable to the idea of trying again.

Still, her friendship via correspondence with Willem gave her pause on the matter. If she could be friends with such a man, perhaps she could hope for friendship with whatever man she ended up marrying as well.

There would need to be heirs, though. And the idea of laying with a man other than Jaime gave Brienne a sick feeling in her stomach.

“What are you going to do?” Podrick asked her as he followed her to the White Tower. “You’ve worked your whole life to be a knight, and now you are in the highest position a knight can have. Do you want to give it up?”

Brienne considered his words. While it was true that she had finally reached many of her goals (“arise, Brienne of Tarth, a knight of the seven kingdoms,” Jaime’s voice echoed in the back of her mind), she still believed there was more she needed to do in her life.

She knew Jaime would be proud of her for serving in the Kingsguard, but had also heard him speak out against vowing one’s life away.

Brienne had served her time, and she longed to be home. To be with her family.

“I think…that there is more I can do in the world. For the people of Tarth,” she finally replied to Podrick. “Besides, I would rather see you shine as my replacement while I’m still alive, if it’s all the same to you.”

Podrick beamed at her words, promising to be the best Lord Commander, after Brienne of course.

Brienne broke the news to the king and his hand the next morning. Bran was cryptic as ever, wishing her much happiness and saying that he looked forward to seeing her children serve as knights someday. Tyrion took her hands between his and bid her farewell.

“I know you and Jaime were never married, but you are the closest thing to a goodsister I’ve ever had. Be happy, Brienne. It’s what my brother would have wanted.”

His words made Brienne’s eyes filled with tears. They did not often speak of Jaime, and it was never easy when they did.

Brienne met with her father next, and he was overjoyed at the news. They would leave within the week, giving her time to transfer command to Podrick.

“Now I know this is a sensitive subject for you, but we need to talk about a husband.”

Brienne sighed. This conversation was happening sooner than expected.

“Yes, father, I know. I will do my duty.”

Selwyn Tarth studied her for a moment. “You always do your duty. But I also want you to be happy. Is there no one here in King’s Landing or someone you’ve met on your travels that you think would make a good husband? That would make this not about duty, but about joy?”

Feeling safe in the presence of her father, Brienne started to cry. And soon the entire story of Jaime Lannister, their long and winding relationship and its culmination, came pouring out of her. Selwyn wrapped his arms around her like he did when she was young and just listened.

Finally, the tears stopped. “I don’t think I can ever marry for love, father, not after everything that has happened. But, perhaps I can marry someone out of friendship and mutual respect.”

Selwyn nodded at her words.

“I think you are very wise, daughter. How about this? We host a welcome home celebration for you and invite all the eligible men who are seeking your hand. You will talk with all of them and perhaps choose a few that you might be interested in getting to know better. You can even invite them to spar with you.”

He chuckled at that, and she grinned, remembering the last time she had met and defeated a potential suitor in the training yard.

“Then we will invite those few men to stay on Tarth for three months and you can take your time in choosing who might be worthy of your friendship and respect.”

Brienne nodded; it was a sound idea. While she didn’t have any desire to fall in love, her father’s solution was a lot better than being forced into betrothals with men she scarcely knew.

“Alright, father, I will do it.”

The Evenstar hugged her and left to make plans for their return journey to Tarth. Brienne had a lot of work to do before she could depart King’s Landing, but decided that first she should take the time to finish her letter to Willem. There was much to tell him now, including her change of address.

She wondered what he would think of her no longer being in the Kingsguard, since he had always seemed so delighted that she was in that position. Brienne hoped they could still be friends.

A few weeks later, there was a letter waiting for her from her friend when she arrived on Tarth. And he was somewhat…displeased with her news.

“I thought that you wanted more than anything to be on the kingsguard – why are you giving up that opportunity to become someone’s wife?”

Brienne was irked by Willem’s words, not that they were unexpected, but she didn’t like his opinion on her personal matters.

“I’m going to become the leader of my people, something I will be proud of. My father said I was to inherit the title, not my husband. But I need heirs to carry on the family name,” she replied, not knowing why she was taking the time to explain this to the man.

_ Because you pretend that he’s Jaime _ , something inside her whispered. As soon as the thought crossed through her mind, Brienne knew it to be true. Despite Tyrion’s assertion that Jaime was dead, and that she had talking to Willem for months, she still wrote to the man as if she were writing to her fallen love.

Not just her love, her friend. She and Jaime had been lovers for a short amount of time, but she also missed their friendship as well. Brienne missed that no matter how far apart they were and how much time separated them, they always cared for the welfare of the other. It was always nice to know that someone out there cared if you were well.

Thinking about it, she caressed her fingers along Oathkeeper. Gods, she missed him.

But she wasn’t being fair to Willem for putting a Jaime Lannister cover over the man.

“I’m sorry that sometimes I treat you as if you are my friend that I lost. It seems to be a habit I developed, and one that you do not deserve. I will endeavor not to do so in the future. But I will understand if you do not wish to continue to write to me,” she explained, wanting to do the honorable thing and tell her friend the truth.

Dropping the letter off with the maester to be sent by raven, Brienne steeled herself to begin the preparations for her welcome home celebration. It was set to take place in one month, and she felt rather like she was preparing for war.

**

Jaime crumpled the letter in his hand. His words had not steered her away from this marriage plight. Brienne was still intending on going through with it. In a month’s time she would meet all the terrible options who were vying for her hand.

Sure, there could be a decent man among them, but the very thought of that sent Jaime into a slight panic.

She had apologized for being abrupt with him in her letter because she thought for a moment that she was writing to Jaime Lannister and now Willem Hill.  _ It is me, wench. Your heart knows it, even if your brain believes what it has been told. _

It warmed his heart that she still was not letting him go, but a moment later it filled him with guilt. Should he continue to write to her? Could Jaime keep up this lie, especially when she was meant to be married to someone else soon?

_ I can’t lose her. _

Jaime brushed the thought aside, reminding himself that he had already pushed her away, and whatever he had with her now was probably just a temporary thing. He could hardly expect her to write to her mysterious one-handed friend from Westeros forever.

Still, the thought of her marrying someone who was unworthy of her gutted him. No, he had to make sure that wouldn’t happen. He had to find a way to show her that she did not need to marry out of duty.

“How will you choose the three men to stay and get to know better? What criteria will you use,” he asked, hoping he could work himself into the choosing process.

“I suppose someone who is kind, strong and honorable, although some of those are hard to determine in society,” she wrote back.

She had a point there. He suggested she have a tournament with a melee, so she could determine who was the best fighter.

“I once heard that you vowed never to marry unless the suitor could defeat you in combat. A tournament would be the best way to determine who would have the best opportunity to do that.” Jaime grinned at this – knowing full well that there was NO ONE in the kingdom of Westeros that could defeat his wench in combat. It was a great time to remind her of that vow. There was nothing Brienne took more seriously than a vow.

“How do you know about that vow I made in my youth. Rumors of that have reached even Pentos? How humiliating! I promised my father to set aside that vow, since it may be too intimidating.”

Curses! She chooses now to forsake her vows? First giving up the kingsguard and now this? Still, her next words gave him hope.

“I cannot have a tournament. But you are right, however, that whomever I marry should be skilled with a sword and accept that I am as well. Maybe when I reduce the suitors down to three, I can challenge them all in the lists.”

Now, that was more like it. She would pound any man who challenged her to the ground. Not many men would take such damage to their pride. Jaime loved it when she did that to him, but there were no other men like him.

“Tell me more of what you will look for in the candidates? Maybe I can help you determine the right questions to ask,” he suggested.

Jaime was torn in two on this topic. While his instincts screamed to sabotage this entire process from the beginning, he didn’t want Brienne to get stuck with someone awful if his attempts to dissuade her from marriage failed. Mayhap he would help her in this round, and then find a way to convince her later that none of the final options were right for her.

Perhaps at this stage, he should convince her of all the things she did deserve. And then someday she would realize that every man was unworthy of her.

“First of all, he should be handsome. And no old men,” he insisted in his letter.

“I’m not the type of woman that attracts handsome young men as a marriage prospect, unless it is a second son seeking fortune. And most of them wear an expression says that the idea of marrying me is nauseating, but it is their only option in life. I would rather someone not as desperate.”

Jaime wanted to rip her letter in anger in two at her words. How could she not know her worth? And also, he wanted to pound every man into the ground that hurt her in the past.

He spent the next few weeks writing letters back and forth with her, helping her narrow down her criteria for the best candidates.

As the celebration drew near, his sense of dread grew. He wanted more than anything to book passage on a ship and attend himself. But if he was honest, if all these land-seeking men were unworthy of her, surely a crippled man with shit for honor was as well. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, the celebration dinner, and choosing of the top three suitors. Who, of course, Jaime will not like one bit.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne faces her potential suitors, Jaime is not impressed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey there! I have not abandoned this fic! So sorry for the delay. Things are wild and crazy in my house right now. I hope you will forgive me and enjoy this chapter. :) 
> 
> Thanks as always to @ashwritesstuff for reading this over.

Brienne paced nervously outside the grand hall. She had prepared for this evening for more than a month, but she wasn’t ready.

But it needed to be done. And thanks to her friendship with Willem Hill, it would be done on her terms. Brienne’s father had sent the finest seamstresses on Tarth to attend her and design a gown for the celebration, and she had sent them away.

Then her father had tried to convince her to go with a fine tunic with Tarth’s colors, but still, she refused.

“You should wear your armor,” Willem had written. “Then you will know the character of the men who seek your hand by the expressions on their faces. If they look on you with disgust or mockery, they are not worthy of you.”

It was a solid plan, and Brienne was thankful to Willem for suggesting it.

Next, they had come up with a series of questions she could ask any potential suitors to narrow down the crowd to those with the best character.

“You seem to have judged Jaime Lannister as more than a Kingslayer though everyone thought him thus – what would you ask someone to similarly determine their honor?” She had never told Willem the story behind Jaime’s slaying of his king, but he mentioned often in his letters that there must be more to the tale for her to regard him so.

Based on this, Brienne developed the “Oathkeeper Question.” She would ask potential suitors what they would do if they had sworn a solemn vow to protect someone, but that person was going to kill innocents.

The second question would be to determine their thoughts about their wife being the leader of Tarth instead of them.

“If they are only in it for the land and title, they will not be happy with this news. Your father may have been reluctant about this agreement with you, but I think it will help you find someone that is more interested in you,” Willem wrote.

“To be honest, I don’t want anyone interested in me,” she replied, remembering how she had felt under Tormund’s gaze.

Brienne heaved a sigh and braced herself to enter the hall. She had made a promise to her father, and she meant to keep it.

“My daughter, Ser Brienne of Tarth, Knight of the Seven Kingdoms and heir to Tarth!” Selwyn introduced her loudly to the crowd, and while the locals cheered proudly, the guests from other noble families gasped at her attire and the titles her father had named.

Brienne stuck her chin up stubbornly, caressed Oathkeeper, and marched proudly through the crowd.  She embraced her father and sat down next to him. Selwyn indicated that the feast should begin.

She took note of the men who had looked disgusted by her appearance in armor. Those were automatically off the list. A few looked intrigued. Some just stared at her wide-eyed like she was some sort of mysterious creature. It was going to be a long night.

“Lady Brienne,” a young gentleman said as he approached her.

“Ser Brienne,” she corrected, and the man looked like he was going to faint. She took pity on him. “What is your name?”

“I’m Fell Buckler, Ser. Second son of my house. It is an honor to meet you, milady. I mean Ser.”

On and on it went, a never-ending line of men who wanted to marry her for access to Tarth. Some of them were men she had bad experiences with while serving with Renly, and the very sight of them turned her stomach. Brienne suddenly longed for the cold nights at Winterfell. She longed for the solitude of her tower as Lord Commander. She longed for the days escorting Jaime as her prisoner across Westeros.

She longed for Jaime.

Brienne could ask all of these suitors’ questions until she was blue in the face and none of them would be him. Even her friend Willem would be a better option, but she knew that he was not comfortable coming back to Westeros.

So she did her duty, and met every single man in attendance. Many scoffed at the Oathkeeper question, thinking she was jesting – because why would a lady ask such things? And those who did answer were vague, saying they would never be put in such a situation.

Out of the corner of her eye – Brienne could see her father watching the proceedings with sad eyes. She knew he would spare her this if he could, but the Tarth family line needed to continue. Selwyn had been curious when she told him about her letter writing to Willem, but thought many of the man’s ideas for questions to suitors were sound.

Still, he wore a thoughtful look after each missive from her friend arrived. And continued peppering her with questions about the former soldier.

Brienne put thoughts of father and Willem from her mind as Hyle Hunt approached her.

“Lady Brienne, it is good to see you, after all these years,” the hedge knight said in a voice that was too charming to be trusted. She had heard such a tone from him before, and would not fall for it again.

“It’s Ser Brienne, now, actually.”

He smiled. “Yes, I’ve heard. And rumors of your victory in the battle of Winterfell alongside the Kingslayer.”

Brienne stiffened at the mention of Jaime. “Ser Jaime Lannister and I fought well.”

“I’m sure you did. Brienne, I wanted to apologize for my behavior when we first met. I should never have been involved in that bet to take your maidenhood. It was ill done of me and my vows as a knight,” Hyle explained.

Brienne narrowed her eyes at him.

“You were supposed to protect the innocent, not take innocence from someone as a joke.”

Hyle stared down at his boots. “I know, and I hope someday you will forgive me.”

Brienne sighed. “Perhaps. And though I believe you do have some regrets, I think the idea of marrying someone who comes with an island is a great motivator for an apology.”

Hyle laughed. “You’ve changed, ser, and no one could call you an innocent any longer.”

Brienne gave him a sad smile. “War, politics, and loss will do that.”

Finally, the evening was over, and Brienne begged her father one night to narrow down the choices. She retired to her room, heaving a sigh of relief as she took off her armor and sat at the small desk in her room.

Diligently, Brienne wrote down the names of every suitor that attended the celebration. She went through each on the list to determine if they should be crossed off. She wished Willem was here to help her, as he seemed to have a good idea of what criteria should be considered.

Brienne immediately crossed off all the men who were old enough to be her father or grandfather. While their age increased the likelihood of a shorter marriage if it was unhappy, these men were more set in their ways and not accepting of her as a warrior.

She also crossed off all the young lads who could barely hold a sword. And then all the men who had been disgusted by her armor or laughed at her Oathkeeper question.

This narrowed the list down considerably. Brienne stared thoughtfully at one name – Hyle Hunt. Out of spite, she wanted to scratch the name immediately off the list. But to be honest, aside from their history, he was one of the better candidates. And he seemed a little remorseful in his apology to her.

Brienne wanted to crumple up the paper and throw it into the fire. She could not do this. She didn’t want to marry any of these men, so why did it matter who was chosen? Finally, she just closed her eyes and chose three names from the list at random.

Brienne wrote missives to the three men, inviting them to stay on Tarth a while longer, and to meet her in the training yards in a few days once all the other guests had gone. Maybe one of them would be able to pass muster with a sword – or might not be hesitant to fight with a woman.

After those notes were through, she sent a note to her father with the choices. Though he had asked her to do this, for some reason he was less enthusiastic about this entire process than even her.

Lastly, Brienne penned a letter to Willem, filling him in on the details of the night. She wondered what he would think of her choices. Brienne thought about each gentleman, describing them the best she could to her friend, hoping he could provide some insight. She promised to write again once she had challenged them all in combat.

Brienne briefly let her thoughts stray to Jaime, and how they had fought on the bridge. Even though he was bound and weak from imprisonment, he had almost beaten her. “I’m strong enough,” he had said once when they were on their journey. And he was.

Brienne had a feeling no one else ever would be.

**

Jaime had experienced a plethora of emotions while writing to Brienne over the past several months, but none like the anger he was feeling now.

Hyle Fucking Hunt.

That vile man was one of her suitors? The man who had made a mockery of her innocence. And what made matters worse – Brienne had chosen him and the other two suitors by chance! How could she value her future happiness so little?

None of the men she had chosen were acceptable, and Jaime made a point to let her know all their flaws in every letter he wrote.

“None of them could best you with a sword? That is understandable, but it was probably humiliating to them when you ground them into the dust. Two broken bones? One of them cried? Not great husband material, if you ask me.”

She wrote that the sword fighting had not scared any of the suitors away, so Jaime had to result in personal attacks. He mentioned that “Willem” had met these men before, and wrote about each of their flaws in painstaking detail. He remembered their bad and smelly cases of indigestion after every meal. Oh and that one time he found one of them in the brothel after weeks of debauchery. And didn’t Hyle Hunt always eat with his mouth open? Most impolite. 

“Really, Willem, you sound quite jealous. I have to marry one of these men, and if you are not going to be helpful, then do not write anything about them at all. Or come here yourself.”

_ You sound quite jealous _ . Jaime closed his eyes as he remembered her saying those words to him shortly before their first kiss. He was jealous. He didn’t want any of these men to breathe the same air as her, let alone marry her.

_ Come here yourself. _

Was she proposing marriage to Willem? Jaime took a small amount of delight in the fact that even though he was pretending to be someone else, he was still the person that Brienne felt comfortable marrying.

Her letters became harder to read after that. She spent more time with each suitor, and Jaime wanted to punch a wall as she wrote about each of their attempts at courting her. But what really hurt was the heartbreak in her letters. Each of her suitors had tried to kiss her, much to his rage, and none of the incidents had gone well.

_ I’m considering asking my father if he might just find another wife and make a new heir because I’m not sure I can spend a lifetime trying to be wife to someone who cringes when they have to touch me or they are intimidated by me. And truth be told, my heart belongs to another. I will always love Jaime, and the thought of marrying someone else feels like breaking an oath. Though I do not know why, since he is gone and we made no promises to each other. _

Jaime’s heart wrenched as he read those words. She loved him still, as he did her. He thought about the words they whispered to each other as they lay in bed in Winterfell –  _ you are wrong, wench, there were promises...ones I failed to keep. _

He had whispered his love into her skin. He had said he was hers and she was his when they found passion in each other’s arms.

And he had walked away.

Brienne could not marry someone else – they were married in all but name. Jaime grabbed his clothing and started stuffing it in his bag. Though he was not worthy of Brienne, he was hers. And he always would be.

As Jaime opened the door to go find the next ship to Tarth, a messenger stood on the other side.

The letter was not in Brienne’s familiar scrawl, and he was curious as to who would be writing him besides her. Jaime’s face paled when he read the unsigned letter.

_ Willem Hill, _

_ Or should I say Jaime Lannister? I know who you are, and it’s time to stop your hiding and tell the world you are alive…or I will. _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Things are moving in the right direction! 
> 
> Note: I guess technically it should be Knight of the Six Kingdoms now, but I left it Seven, because she probably would serve the North as well if it was asked of her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime goes to Tarth, feels happen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, let me say that I am so sorry that this took so long. I have excuses, but I won't bore you with them. I'll just say I'm in a place where I feel like I can relax and write fic again and that makes me very happy. :) I hope you all can forgive me and also that you enjoy this chapter! 
> 
> Thanks as always to my lovely Ashley for being my beta.

Brienne watched as her “suitors” sparred in the training yard. Sparred was a generous word. They were pathetic, making a show of being skilled with a sword, when Brienne could best them all with very little challenge.

Only Hyle had any talent as a knight, but she had knocked him into the dust within five minutes of their first bout. She had to admit that it felt very good to get a little revenge for his participation in that bet against her.

“Have you made a decision, Brienne?” Her father crept up behind her without her noticing. Her reflexes were getting soft. While Brienne didn’t love war, the fighter within rankled against the courtly life.

It wouldn’t have been boring with Jaime. You would have sparred with him every day. In the training yards and the bedroom, her broken heart whispered. Would she ever be over him?

Brienne wiped the tear that had started to form in her eye away, hoping her father wouldn’t notice. But Selwyn Tarth was too shrewd to miss it.

“You need to let him go. He wouldn’t want you to be unhappy,” he said gently to his daughter, and the sweet tone made Brienne want to fall into his arms and weep like she had as a little girl.

Instead, she squared her shoulders. “I said I would go through with this…I never promised I would be happy.”

Selwyn frowned at her. “I don’t like any of the suitors you chose.”

“Me either.” As she said the words, all three men were knocked down by Tarth soldiers. They stood quickly, trying to brush it off and not be embarrassed in front of the Evenstar and the woman they hoped to marry.

“Well, then why did you choose them?” Selwyn sounded frustrated, though Brienne could not imagine why. She was doing exactly as he asked.

“They, unfortunately, were the best of the lot,” Brienne said glumly.

Her father sighed. “Look, I won’t pretend to understand what you saw in the Kingslayer, but you can’t go around comparing men to him.”

_ There are no men like me, only me. _ She could almost hear it in Jaime’s arrogant voice. “Father, can we please not talk about Jaime? I’m doing as you asked. I’m going to marry a suitor. Unless…you might consider marrying someone who will birth you another heir.”

Selwyn slammed his fist down on the balcony’s railing. “I will have no other heir. You are the child I am proud of, the one who will be the best Evenstar to take over after me. A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms. Former Lord Commander of the Kingsguard. Hero of the Long Night. I will not marry some young woman to birth a child to replace you.”

Brienne blinked back tears at her father’s defense of her. “Thank you, father.”

“I only wish there was someone out there worthy of you,” Selwyn said sadly. “I wrote to your friend, you know. Your one-handed soldier.”

Brienne froze. Her father had reached out to Willem? Was that why she hadn’t heard back from her friend?

“What did you say?”

Brienne had gotten testy in her letters to the man, accusing him of being jealous when he besmirched her suitors. She even invited him to come here in a moment of anger. After she had sent that raven, she had wanted to call it back immediately. But it was too late, and she was worried it had ruined their strange friendship.

Truth be told, she was frustrated with him. Not that she knew what the man looked like, but Brienne knew that he would be better than any of the three suitors she had chosen. And to read his negative thoughts about them, it was more than she could bear. If she married Willem, at least they could have a friendship.

The more time she spent with the three suitors, the more she loathed them. It was probably the fake interest they showed in her. Brienne thought at this point she might just prefer the people who called her ugly to her face over the lies that came from these men.

She wondered what Willem would say if he saw her. But no, he hadn’t wanted to meet. Their ravens continued for a while after her invitation, but then suddenly they cut off abruptly. Brienne hoped nothing had happened to him.

Now, she wondered if her father was the cause.

“Did you ask him to stop writing because you thought it inappropriate when I will be betrothed soon?”

Selwyn shook his head. “No, I merely extended an invitation. And it seems like he must not have accepted.”

Brienne started to panic – an invitation from your friend is one thing. An invitation from your friend’s father inviting you to come visit his unwed daughter was another.

“Father – you might have ruined the one thing that brought me joy in this life,” Brienne said sadly.

Selwyn looked at her thoughtfully. “I have a confession to make. I read some of your letters.”

Brienne briefly went through some of the recent missives from Willem, wondering if there was anything in them she should be embarrassed about. No, other than his unkind words about her suitors, Willem had been nothing but honorable.

“It was not well done of you, Father, but I forgive you.”

“I find these letters strange,” Selwyn started. “I find it odd that you should have given your heart to a one-handed man who died, and now are a very close friend with another one-handed man.”

Brienne didn’t know what her father was getting at. “I explained how we first started writing to each other.”

Selwyn just looked at her sadly. “Brienne…how sure are you that Jaime Lannister is dead?”

She could only gape at her father. “What?”

“Did you see the body? Is there any way he could have survived?” She could not believe Selwyn was asking her these questions. Sure, it was a long time ago, but the pain was real.

“Jaime’s dead. Of course he is. Why would you,” her words were choked off with a sob. Selwyn reached out and grabbed her hands.

“Will you do me a favor sweetling? Read Willem’s letters again. Read them carefully and closely. Perhaps you will see it this time.”

Brienne could guess what he was implying, but she still had to ask. “See what?”

Selwyn gave her a hug. “Just read them, daughter. And in the meantime…why don’t I send those three suitors on their way?”

Brienne’s eyes widened at her father’s words.

“But what about…”

Selwyn studied the men below. “You know, when I first brought suitors before you when you were young, you always held yourself in a way…like you were bracing yourself for them to dislike you. I hated the world we lived in that made you feel that way.”

“Father…” Brienne started, but he silenced her with a look.

“But now, when you meet someone, you look them straight in the eye and practically dare them to say something. You know your worth. After all you’ve done and all you’ve been through, you know that you are far more valuable than any of those men that sought your hand.” Selwyn’s voice choked as he spoke, and now it was Brienne’s turn to comfort her father.

“I know what I look like, Father, that hasn’t changed,” she said sadly.

“But now you know what it’s like to love and be loved in return. For who you are. And I would be a fool to allow you to settle for anything else,” Selwyn explained.

“But I need to make heirs for Tarth. That was our deal.”

Selwyn smiled. “Well, if things don’t work out the way I think they are going to, I still wouldn’t make you marry any of those fools. We can always choose someone to be your heir. That would be far better than a grandchild from any of those idiots.”

Brienne couldn’t help but laugh through her tears. “Thank you, father.”

Her thoughts raced as she hurried to her room to dig out the letters. Surely, her father could not be right in what he was implying. Jaime Lannister was not alive. Willem was not Jaime. Still, now that the thought had been planted in her head, she couldn’t shake it.

Frantically, she pulled the letters from Willem out of her desk drawer and read them, one by one. Had his tone in one note reminded her too much of Jaime? They had been friends for years now, but she had a hard time discerning if the words were from a fictional Willem Hill or a real Jaime Lannister. Was he discouraging her suitors because he loved her still?

No, it couldn’t be Jaime. Tyrion had seen his body.

Hadn’t he?

Line by line, she reviewed the letter. Each one making her as unsure as the first. On one, he wrote “we-“ and crossed it off. Had he started to write “wench” and stopped himself? It had been in an entirely humorous paragraph that reminded her a lot of Jaime’s japes.

But why would Jaime lie to her after all these years? Why would he pretend to be someone else?

_ He wants to be in your life, but the idiot doesn’t think he’s good enough to be around any of his loved ones anymore. _

Brienne knew Jaime Lannister so well, she could anticipate all that reasoning in his stupid head. _ Ugh, you are getting frustrated at him like you did when he was alive. And he is dead. You have to get over it. _

When she finished going through the pile of letters, she was no more sure than before of Willem’s true identity. If she wasn’t certain that the man she loved was dead, she could almost believe that these letters were from him.

But it was impossible.

Brienne was frustrated with her father for putting the idea in her mind when she had no way of knowing for sure. Willem had stopped writing to her, so she could not put the question to him for answers.

But now she had to know.

Brienne stood up and grabbed a bag and started throwing clothes in it. She would go to him. She would travel to Pentos, find Willem Hill, and prove to her father that the man who had been her friend all these years was not Jaime Lannister.

A knock sounded at the door, and Brienne prayed fervently that it wasn’t one of her dismissed suitors coming to beg her to stay. She especially did not want to see Hyle Hunt again. Choosing him had been a mistake.

Thankfully, it was the maester’s assistant with a raven that had arrived that morning. Brienne’s heart raced when she recognized the handwriting scrawled on it.

_ Brienne, I’m coming. I will be there on the next ship. - Willem _

Whether it was truly Willem or Jaime Lannister in disguise – they would know by the end of the week. Brienne had a lot of thinking to do about how she would feel with either outcome.

**

Jaime stood on the deck of the ship as it approached Tarth and gazed at the island. He had done this before, but it was before he even knew what it was like to be with Brienne…really be with her. He had been in love with her then, on that journey to Dorne with Bronn, but he wasn’t willing to admit it to himself then.

Now, if he could get out and push this ship to make it move faster, he would. Jaime had been apart from Brienne for far too long, and knowing he was not far from seeing her was torture.

Sure, those years of separation were his fault, but he prayed fervently she would forgive him. He also lit a candle to all seven of the gods -hoping that one of them would hear him and he wasn’t too late and Brienne had not married one of the suitors pursuing her.  Or that her father, who he assumed had sent him the letter about his true identity, had told her and she was livid with him and didn’t want to see him.

He started pacing the deck.

“We will be there within the hour,” the captain told him. “Wearing a hole into my deck won’t get us there any faster.”

As eager as he was to arrive – when they approached the dock, Jaime panicked and scrambled to hide behind some barrels on the deck. From his vantage point, he could see the group of people lined up to greet the ship. His breath caught when he saw her.

Brienne. She was more striking than he even remembered. Tall and proud, and utterly breathtaking. The thought of approaching her, the crippled old relic of a knight that he was, seemed ludicrous.

Jaime observed Brienne studying every man who left the shift, looking pointedly at their hands.  _ She’s looking for a missing hand. She’s looking for Willem. She doesn’t know. _

He could leave without her ever knowing that Jaime Lannister was alive.  The thought only barely passed through his mind before he rejected it. He was a knight. He had honor in him, Brienne had told him so. So Jaime gathered what courage he had left and stood, walking toward the gangplank.

His eyes met hers, and her sapphire gaze transfixed him like it always did. He gave her a shrug that he hoped looked repentant, and a ghost of a smile. Her eyes filled with tears and the man next to her, who he assumed was Selwyn Tarth, looked smug.

The man strode forward, meeting Jaime when he finally stepped on dry land. Brienne stood back, her emotions on her face cycling through, disbelief, joy, anger and sadness. He hoped she landed on one that would be favorable for him.

“I see you got my letter,” Selwyn said when he stopped in front of Jaime.

Jaime gave him a sheepish grin. “I was already on my way.”

Selwyn returned his smile and held out his hand. “Good lad.” He pulled Jaime closer to speak quietly. “She’ll forgive you, you know. Probably already has. Loving a real person is much better than loving a ghost.”

Jaime slowly approached Brienne, who still hadn’t said anything. He noticed her fist was clenched. Very well, he deserved it. He walked to stand directly in front of her.

“Jaime…” Her fist clenched tighter.

“Hello, wench.” Her eyes widened and a tear slipped down her cheek at the sound of his voice. Gods, he wanted to reach out and touch her, but he knew that he couldn’t. Everything that happened from this point was her decision.

Brienne raised her arm and he braced for impact. But halfway to his chest, her fist unclenched, and she laid her palm on him. It took him a moment to realize that she was feeling his heartbeat to verify that he was alive.

Her hand moved up his chest until it was cupping his face. In her eyes, he saw anger and sadness, but also love. And he knew that they were going to be alright. Unable to stop himself, he reached up and brushed the tear from her cheek.

“Don’t cry, Brienne,” he said, his voice hoarse from emotion. “Don’t cry.”

This only made Brienne’s tears flow more freely. “I wanted it to be you,” she said, throwing her arms around him. “I wanted it to be you so badly.”

And as he held the woman he loved in his arms, for the first time in his life he was grateful to be Jaime Lannister. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They are reunited! Hope you enjoyed it! In retrospect, I kind of wish I had given Jaime a dog named Brinkley, but other than that, I tried to keep those two lines close to the "meet" scene in You've Got Mail. 
> 
> One more quick little epilogue to wrap things up and this will be complete. Should be done soon, because I need to start working on my fic for JB week.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ending of the story. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check me out - posting updates two days in a row and completely finishing this fic! Thanks to Ashley for being my beta and to all you lovely readers. Hope you enjoy!

Jaime and Brienne painfully survived a public dinner with her father and others in Evenfall Hall, but they really just wanted to be alone together. Years of separation had its toll, and they did not want to be apart.

In fact, they had not stopped holding hands since their greeting when he disembarked from his ship. After dinner, they rushed from the hall. Jaime stopped her in the hallway for a kiss. He could scarce believe Brienne was letting him near her, let alone kissing her after all this time. After everything he did.

“Jaime,” she whispered against his neck, and he thought he would die from the joy of hearing his name from her lips again.

“Brienne,” he said, his voice gruff from holding back tears. She closed her eyes, as if hearing that did the same thing to her.

“Come with me,” she said, pulling her behind him with their joined hands. He had thought (or hoped) that she was pulling him in the direction of one of their bedrooms, but was sorely disappointed when she turned instead and pulled him out of the keep.

“Where are we going?”

She smiled. “You’ll see.”

She finally stopped outside the armory. “You hurt me, Jaime.”

He hung his head. “I know. I’m so sorry, Brienne. More than I could ever say. I can go, if you want me too…” Jaime started to pull away from her, but she squeezed their hands together tighter.

“Absolutely not, ser. Now that I have you here, I’m not letting you out of my sight for a very long time,” she said in her commanding voice.

He grinned. “That is going to be very awkward when I need to relieve myself. Of course, that’s something you’ve watched before…”

Brienne rolled her eyes. Gods, he had missed annoying her. “Not by my choice.”

He shrugged. “You could have looked away. You chose not to. No judgment here.”

She scowled at him, and he burst into laughter. “I love you so much wench. I’ve missed this.” Her angry expression turned soft.

“I’ve missed you too, Jaime.”

He looked around him again. “So, if you aren’t sending me away, what are we doing here?”

She pulled him into the armory. “You broke my heart. You made me think you were dead. You lied to me and said you were someone else.”

Jaime glanced nervously at all the swords. “So instead of sending me away, you’re going to run me through?”

She laughed. “Can’t say I didn’t consider it, but no. We are going to spar – as my dear friend Willem told me he had become quite skilled with his left hand.”

Jaime laughed. “How long are you going to refer to us as separate people?”

She shrugged. “Until I’m over it.”

“And how long will that be,” he asked nervously.

Brienne finally let go of his hand and grabbed a practice sword. She handed it to him and picked up another for herself. “Oh, I imagine it will take a couple of hours.”

“Only hours?”

She nodded. “We are going to go out to that training yard and I’m going to try to beat you into the dust while I work out my feelings.”

Jaime grinned at that. “And what if I’m proficient enough to stop this beating into the dust?”

Brienne shrugged. “The better the fight, the better for getting out my anger and aggression. And besides, I’ve fought you before. We will be here a while.”

Jaime’s competitive spirit leaped into awareness at that. “We’ll see about that, wench.”

She grinned as she walked into the training yard and motioned for him to join her. “We’ll see about that, Jaime. Or Willem. Or whatever I’m supposed to call you.”

“How about husband?” He asked.

“What?” She almost dropped her sword in shock.

“You are the most honorable woman I know, so if you say that you will be over everything after we fight, I believe you. Which means we have to think about what comes after. For me, that means marriage.”

Brienne blinked at him. “Do you think we’re ready for that already?”

He grinned. “Wench, I was ready for that in Winterfell, until I made idiotic decisions. I want to marry you. I have to marry you. Tonight.”

“Tonight?” She squawked at him. If anything, he was throwing her off before their fight.

“Yes, we have some other sparring to do to make up for our years apart, and it takes place in a bed rather than a training yard. I’m sure your father will be less angry if we do that as man and wife,” he said with a grin. Perhaps this was a foolish line of conversation, for now  _ he _ was getting distracted from the fight ahead.

“Jaime,” she scolded, blushing his favorite shade of red.

“How about this, wench. We fight. If I win, we wed tonight. If you win, we wed on a date and time of your choosing.”

Brienne gave him a challenging look. “And if I choose never?”

He grinned, not discouraged by the bravado she put up. “Then I will challenge you every day until I win.”

Brienne nodded. “Very well, let’s fight.”

They were both right – Brienne did get a lot of her anger out during their sparring, but Jaime was right in that he could offer her a greater challenge than expected.

Brienne and Jaime were wed that evening. She won the fight, but decided she didn’t want to wait either.

**

Two months later, Tyrion Lannister arrived from King’s Landing. Everyone was surprised when they received the missive that Brienne had wed her pen pal from Pentos.

“You could have at least invited me to the wedding, Brienne. I thought we were friends,” he wrote her. Tyrion knew that it would be awkward to see Brienne with someone other than his brother, but he truly wanted her to be happy.

“Come to our celebration dinner, then, to meet my husband. You will like him, I promise. Bring Podrick as well,” she wrote back.

Tyrion’s first instinct was to decline, but King Bran himself had insisted that Tyrion needed to go meet Brienne’s husband. “You will understand when you get there.”

He understood completely when he disembarked and saw Jaime Lannister standing there with a grin on his face.

Tyrion sank to his knees in shock. “Jaime…your alive…how? I saw your body in the rubble.”

Jaime approached him and helped him stand again. “Next time you encounter someone you think is dead, check for a heartbeat.”

Tyrion just stared at him with wide eyes. “All these years, though. Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because he’s an idiot,” Brienne said as she approached.

Jaime smiled lovingly at her. “What my wife said.”

Tyrion turned his attention to the newest Lannister. “And you…a simple letter to explain everything would have been nice.”

She shrugged. “Jaime wanted to surprise you.”

He rolled his eyes. “You could have at least held off on the wedding until I arrived. This is much worse than missing your wedding to a stranger. I missed you marrying my brother!”

Jaime reached out and threaded his fingers through Brienne’s. “As if I would wait that long after all these years.”

Tyrion’s heart was full. Not only was his friend Brienne now his goodsister, but his brother was alive and happy. He turned to share a smile with Podrick, who surely would be just as happy.

And he saw the lad nowhere.

“Podrick?”

Brienne gasped and rushed toward the gangplank. The poor lad had sat down in shock at the sight of Jaime, and remained immobile.

“Well if the sight of the family being back together is too much for him – what’s he going to do when we tell him there’s going to be a baby?”

And Tyrion suddenly felt a little dizzy himself.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who stuck in there with me. I will try to never drag out updates for that long again. :)

**Author's Note:**

> I've decided to make Brienne not bitter in this fic, because I'm a very fluffy writer and that's how I roll. If you are looking for some angst, there are lots of good post-canon Jaime lives fics out there that are awesome and will feed that need for you. :)


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